They say beauty lies within……….. Well I must say I had a lift and I wish a tuck but now as I lie in bed on the road to recovery I thought I might as well share with you my experience for the last few weeks.

If I were to give this entry a title it would be: “Welcome to the world of Histersisters” there is actually a site called that so for all men reading who feel that they know where this conversation is going feel free to stop NOW………. I squirm for nothing and I already had my embarrassing moment this year twice…. So I think I am pretty safe to share this…………. But be warned it’s a sister thing.

But since ANGEL (beloved Cuz) is the only one who comments I actually write for her.

So I always feel sometimes we should try and get a laugh out of anything otherwise life would be really really boring………….. Don’t you think? I know having a hysterectomy and bladder op is big and sore but I am sure we can fit a smile in there somewhere.

The morning of the day of the op I skipped work and took it easy. I had bought a people magazine and knowing me opened up randomly on a page that was titled “I woke up under anesthetic “(I kid you not) Ooooh just the article I wanted to read before I went in. While chatting to my friend I told her how funny this article was and she promptly answered by saying “Oh that happened to my mom” – NICE

So on the way to the hospital I was rehearsing in my head how I was going to (without sounding foolish) ask the anesthetist if he was sure he was going to give me enough of that magic juice and make sure he gives me a little extra as I am more “CURVED” than most woman………….

I was fortunate enough to go to a private hospital. The 2 nurses assigned to giving me the rundown looked like supermodels and the one had a lot of gold on her teeth (Not that that had anything to do with it but I did find myself staring a lot) and she drew her eyebrows in . But there were sweet. They took one look at me and said:”They say this is one of the most painful ops you can have” both nodding in agreement. Thanks guys just what I needed to confirm before I went in = I mean I would not want to go for the less painful one that one might not work!!!!!

It was obviously a day that God decided I should be informed. Don’t leave a thing out………The nice nurses offered me a pre op pill – all this does really is make you a bit no actually VERY DOFF…… (fuzzy headed) and what that really meant was when I entered the room full of doctors I was smiling (who knows why) I forgot my rehearsed lines for the anesthetist but do remember someone saying “Doctor you look tired” and he looked at me smiling and said maybe I should get some caffeine in me……………… and that’s about all I remember….

The operation lasted about 3 hours and even though I remember most of what happened when I woke up I honestly believe the following events were out of my control. I woke up fighting with the world - they had wheeled me into a “care room” for a while and they tried to put an oxygen mask on me and well I hit it off twice........ I remember them saying very loudly MRS W.... YOU NEED TO BREATH.... YOU HAVE STOPED BEATHING YOU ARE HOLDING YOUR BREATH................ oh please all it takes is a little anesthetic to bring out the rebel.......... then I tried to get out of bed and they put the bars up.. I think the kid in me was quite disappointed all my fun gone.........

But NO save the best for last ……….. I unfortunately got a bladder infection so stayed longer than intended and then like a BIG baby just CRIED big crocodile tears cause I wanted to come home………

Sure you can if we can teach you to cathatise yourself…….. Ooooh what fun…… When I saw the doctor again just before I left he said “I hear your going to potty train again” his really old and he found that amusing ……. I suppose it was in a gynie sort of way………. And I replied “I think you stitched me up a little too tight.”

So I am home “potty training” but at least its HOME…………………..

I have started rewriting the song I WILL SURVIVE……….. It goes something like this …….. Feel free to sing along…………..

First I was afraid I was petrified just thinking they were going in from the other side........ Then I thought to myself ag this wont take too long then I shuddered at that thought when the anesthetist came alonggggggggggggggg......

SO Now I’m back from surgery and I’m fighting to keep everyone off of me... I will stand up in my bed I will scream and knock them down and I know for just one minute that needle wants my bum....................

Oh now NO.......... walk out the door..........I will slap you if you try come any closer to my sore............ I will scream your name out loud and memorize your face and I will buzz your every minute that you won’t get any reeeeeeeeeeest........................

OH now no I will survive as long as I have Myprodol by my side – I got all my life to live I got all my love to give I will survive ……. I WILL SURVIVE……… ya ya