Dance of the Fantasia Hippos

Dance of the Fantasia Hippos

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Bloggers unite

So my latest challenge …………… get ready cause here it comes. So as you all know my involvement with youth has been a while now, but God has challenged me with my own children just so I can be a little more humble and understanding to others. Don’t get me wrong I fight with the Lord and ask him why this happens but the same answer comes back, I won’t give you something you won’t handle.

Now that funny cause I really did not think I could handle this and threw a little tantrum with him but that did not really help. But today I am feeling better.

So here it is my daughter was recently diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and borderline personality disorder. Now up until last week I had no idea what this was. I really thought difficult teens were all the same as my child but unfortunately they are not. ODD and BPD both come with some nasty side affects. I really would like imput from any moms or dads out there who have kids with these disorders to hear what they have done.

So to start from the beginning it started with lies. Lies boys and girls will get you into lots of trouble. But if you do it enough it could actually get your mom and dad to turn around and do something about it. Now apparently ODD can be genetic as I was told and since Carla is adopted we are not too sure.

I received a strange call from the principle of the school last week telling me my child was telling some horrific lies at school. But for my child she lives her lies. ODD is when there problem starts affecting their daily function, as my child really believes she saw a dead body in a “imaginary” friends house and that’s why she missed school. She also started cutting herself (which by the way is a taught thing) She would have had to see someone do it before she did it.

She smokes (and according to the therapist my hands are tied) I told her my rules are: I will not buy it, pay for it or want to smell it or see her smoke near me, her answer was: “Well where can I smoke then?” I quite over a year ago for my kids (funny is it not how life is) she swears like a sailor and is dating a 16 year old boy behind our backs. She is manipulative and will make you believe things you never thought possible. She has what they call Blunt emotions so don’t be fooled by any tears She feels nothing really no guilt no shame. Best scenario she gets therapy and controls her compulsive lying and everything else worst scenario she goes to girl’s town.

I am broken……………

This is my baby I have raised her since she was 5 and now when I stand in front of her she is a grown woman at 12. Who still makes 12 year old decisions. And needs her mom. I love her though and will do anything to help her even if it means girls town.

But I see light……………….dim but its there. It WILL bring us closer whatever it takes.

So for those who have some advice I would love to hear from you. For those who pray that would be awesome. And for those who are going through the same thing drop us a line I would love to chat.

4 comments:

AngelConradie said...

oh ydnic- my heart aches for you and your little family girl!
to some degree i can sympathise- damien has a compulsion disorder aggravated by his adhd which results in stealing- not fun! and thanx to his adhd he doesn't learn from his mistakes so we keep going round in circles!
i'll do anything i can to help you out girl- whether you need a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand- anything.

Lesley said...

my friend, my thoughts are with you, and i will pray for carla to find the strength to get through this, she is a good child deep down, she's just lost, we need to find her and find her, we will.
xx

mlynx said...

Cinsy, wow inspite of all the hardship you do always come out on top!!! We love you. I'm also deeply sad that the little baby I remember in diapers are smoking and lying to the very person who gave absolutely everything to ensure she has a happy loving home. But you know what Cins, all you can do is pray, try to make the right decisions and always set a great example. One day she WILL look back and see everything for what it is. She does love you and we know better than anyone else that hormones completely rule a woman's thoughts and actions and have absolutely nothing to do with the real us. SO patience maatjie and gather the army because you'll need a lot of support for difficult times ahead. Missing you more than ever, mlynx

AngelConradie said...

i tagged you girl! find instructions on my page!