Going through our phases of life

I must say generally my life is a very happy one. God has blessed me with so many things that I find it selfish to complain………. But I do have my days and I think today was one.

I don’t think its abnormal to have these days and I know most moms do the very best they can but boy oh boy its not easy.

Our moms survived us and I take my hats off to them.

For some moms kids come very naturally but for me it sometimes is a little overwhelming. I know the support of family and friends is phenomenal but that does not change the fact that sometimes we still feel the burden is all ours. And then we sit in this dark corner alone (which we have chosen)

My day started at the university today having both my children “interviewed” for speech therapy. It was a timely process of about 2 hours of testing and felt never ending going from one room to another being asked the same questions and knowing I am being watched by 20 students on the other side of the large mirror window. (I mean PLEASE people don’t you watch CSI? WE KNOW YOU ARE THERE)

I suppose though that bad news is sometimes good news because at least we have a chance to sort it all out now before they have to struggle with problems their whole lives.

My son however surprised the little student testing him, because she said she had prepared her test for someone a little less sharp. I in return said cleaver kids have learning problems too you know. The end result is that now at least they can help him with his reading and writing. They also recommended he repeat Grd 1 but I really have had a lot of reaction to that, some say yes he should some say no don’t do that he will survive. And me I am in the middle. So for now I will just go on my gut and see what happens. We all want what’s best for our kids but we don’t want to see them suffer either.

“Tough Love” as someone called it, I really don’t see any love in causing your child to cry uncontrollably because he has to repeat. That’s not fair. I would rather sit with him everyday and try to help him through this.
Some might disagree but that’s me too soft for tough love.

My daughter on the other hand is actually a little worse off than we thought. I remember once reading that famous little saying “Scientifically it has been proven that the bumble bee is too big with his wing size to fly BUT he does not know that so he flies anyway. So I don’t tell Carla everything hoping she will fly anyway.

During her therapy interview I was called in to a different department, the one she had her hearing test done with. The Senior lecturer sat me down and said straight out : “My dear I am worried about your child, frankly I don’t think she can hear very well” How she explained it was that a normal child’s hearing should be between 10 and 15 that’s good. But Carla is between 40 and 60 – she says her case is quit unique and some of the things don’t add up but her results are the same as last year and I suppose it takes 2 tests to see that there might be a potential problem. She says there is one other child they tested and he had similar results to her.

Now we are trying with the help of this lecturer to get an appointment with some professor at the academic hospital so he can physically test her ears and see if we can get her a hearing aid if necessary.

Then it was back up to her speech interview only to find more serious problems that can be fixed in the longer term.

WOW what a day and reading back on all this there is not much I can do but sit back, pray and tackle each day as it comes.

I am quit exhausted today. So I rushed back to work only to receive a call from my sons dad.

Now this could be a touchy subject for some but I must say I am selfish with my views on this topic.

Since we never settled anything in court I feel that my rules should be enough for now. And I am actually very easy when it comes to compromise with this man, since I want my son not to get any ill feelings from either parent. BUT I can SCREAM at this idiot since all he wants to do is give me grief. GET A JOB no no wait GET A WIFE………

Ag so this is my moan for the year…… racing from one thing to the next. I could easily sleep now but somehow my brain is too awake for that.

My children took part in their first 3km moonlight fun run. I ran with Seth who was my first child in from the top of the field about 3m down and nearly collapsed yip that was my support. And with Carla I waited at the medal line and shouted with pure happiness (it used a lot less energy) . Carla said : “maybe next year we can all run and be the first family in” YA more like the last. The word run well its painful to say and I really don’t know much about it except that if you run fast certain body parts might get in the way or knock you literally off your feet. Well in my case anyway.

So after a very late night at the Oval in Irene I now sit and ponder about my day. Actually Ponder is a really strong word its more like briefly look over. I am going to bed now and will tackle all my unanswered questions in the morning.

So from my little abode in Clubview…………. GOOD NIGHT across the world.